Let’s move forward, together.

The perinatal stage (the period during pregnancy and up to a year after birth) is full of changes for both parents especially if they are dealing with complications. The maternal brain makes the necessary adjustments to prepare for a strong caregiving attachment, and develops a keen awareness for threats to the baby. Sometimes these hormonal shifts can set off unexpected feelings of depression and anxiety that can move towards OCD tendencies and in rare cases perinatal psychosis. I can help support you through times of worry, sadness, and feelings of doubt, guilt and shame. What has helped a lot of parents is knowing that they are not alone in facing these troubling moments, and the extra support can help get them back on track. Some people benefit from doing research, finding peer support groups, and if needed, getting a referral to a reproductive prescriber who has knowledge of medications that are safe to take during pregnancy or while breastfeeding.

Loss is experienced in a variety of ways and taking time to mourn and honor your loss is critical. Reproductive related losses, however, may feel unvalidated making it harder to heal. Sometimes people can feel grief spring up from previous losses, by experiencing a similar event through someone you know, or from secondary sources; i.e., literature, TV, movies, social media or memories that are more pronounced around the time of an anniversary. These experiences can be reactivating, which can be surprising for some folks. Getting support for the first time to process these memories or reaching out to retool coping skills can be just what is needed to learn how to manage it again in the future.

Parenting with a partner takes a different skill set than when you were dating or when you were waiting with excitement for the arrival of your bundle of joy. With a new addition to your family, and one that is totally dependent on you, it’s common for parents to need to negotiate the division of labor and the need to take time to rejuvenate. Other factors come into play, and these are just a few: family background, cultural considerations, personality styles, level of communication skills, the ability to be self-reflective, and take on someone else’s perspective. They determine how well you can come to an acceptable agreement or compromise, and sometimes it means putting your needs aside temporarily for the greater good of your loved ones. 

Parenting children over the course of their lives can be rewarding as well as present new challenges that can change family dynamics. it’s important to know when to reach out to other parents and/or professionals for sound, non-judgmental support to strengthen your resolve. One of the most important ingredients to a healthy family is for parents to present as a united front. Children will get mixed messages from parents who are not in agreement and find a way to split their adult caregivers to get their needs met. Children benefit from parents who can give age-appropriate limits respectfully and patiently. This will help them to learn in a secure and loving environment.